MY OPINION ON DECENCY IN DRESSING. – OSHIME GBAFE.

It has come to my notice that we girls tend to dress indecently. 

Honestly, I have been culprit of indecent dressing once or twice, or maybe a couple of 100 times. lol. Seriously though, I want to know when the dressing can undoubtedly be termed “indecent”

We girls tend to dress according to trend. These days though, the trend is to show more skin, and wear bold attires that tend to captivate the attention of people when we step in a room, or walk on the road, you know what I mean. 

But I want to know, is it really worth it? As much as we like to be the centre of attention and attraction, what kind of attention are we attracting. 
 

Most times when my friends tell me some guy on the road harassed them or someone was following them with his car I first of all ask “What were you wearing? ” because it’s a known fact that men are attracted/turned on by what they see. 

So sister if you’ve ever been follwed by a car chances are the brother was attracted to you very sexy looking stomach in that crop top, or your thighs in the skirt or maybe the figure hugging dress you wore “just to go get something” ,or “just to go see him or her ”

In my opinion, it is very okay to be attractive and show off what you’ve got, but you should really take into consideration the type of attention you’d be attracting and maybe it will shape your choice of clothes . Unless you enjoy the attention, the lustful looks , and perversive comments . But be sure to know that rape is real

Also, the type of pictures we take and put up in social media can attract perverse attention. I for one hate nasty comments on my pictures. So I try to keep them decent even though some times I can’t help myself. I’d talk more on this in my next article. 

Let me know if you love it or not so, I’d know for sure if this is my calling or not . Do have a Blessed day💜💜

Oshime Gbafe.

Feature image source.

FOR WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN.

Ok so I thought of something earlier today and I’ll like to share with you reading this. 

First of, I’m glad you’re reading this because it shows my effort isn’t in vain, and it just might help you out. 
It’s about getting out of emotionally down times.

Before I go further, a disclaimer; I’m no expert on this issue, as falling sick frequently doesn’t make one an expert physician. However, one who falls sick frequently, at some point, is able to know what drugs work and what doesn’t, which health practices help and what not. That is where i stand. 

Now, I realized today, that the first step in getting out of an “emotional slump” is to literally take that first step. Get out of there. 

Let me throw more light. 

Most of the time, when I’m in these my “dark times” as the weeknd calls them, I’m mostly on my bed or sitting still and thinking negative thoughts. Allowing bad vibes to envelop me. 

While one can’t help getting in these moods at times, we do have power over our response. 
I’ve noticed that whenever I’ve gotten back to the light, the first step I did was getting out of that “stance of defeat.”

If I’m in my room, I leave my room to go do a chore or just take a shower. If I’m lying down, I get up and get around to get busy with something positive. 

Very regularly, when I’m in my feelings, I feel like, “alright, let’s see what life wants to throw at me. Let me see what life is going to bring next.”

Only today, did I realize how fundamentally flawed this form of thinking is. 

I can’t sit and let life happen to me, when there’s a much better choice of going out there and happening to life! 

Who was it that said, the best cure for these negative feelings is to go and do something good for another person. 

Service, no matter how big or small is another method that helps me. When you’re serving another, you are able to take your mind of you and your problems. 

Doing so enables me to begin to feel better. 

One thing leads to another and I begin to feel better. 

So let me go over the major points. 

1. When you catch yourself slipping into negative feelings, get out of there! In the literal sense. Find some other place and something good to do. 

2. Don’t wait for what else life brings your way, go and happen to life! Take initiative and do new things! 

3. Serve others. Serving others would take your focus of you and your problems and leave you feeling better as an end result. 

Thank you for reading this far. 

My dear friend Debbie told me once that, she doesn’t like self help material. Her reason being that most of the time, the author just discusses a method that works for him/her. 

What proof is there that it’ll work for another? 

In all honesty, this is no exception as I’m discussing methods that work for me. 

But then again, how will you know if it’ll work for you or not. There’s only one way to find out.

Remain positive. 

With love, 

Kelechi Ochulo.

Feature image source.

BROWN CHRISTMASES.

I’M THINKING OF A BROWN CHRISTMAS.

When you think of Christmas, what colors come to your mind? White, Green and red eh? I think I guessed right. 

That’s different for me though. 

The color that comes to my mind as per Christmas is brown. 

Brown, the color of the dust that envelopes everything as a result of the harmattan. 

Brown, is the color of vegetation at this time of the year.

Brown is the color of your originally cream colored car which you might have washed an hour or two ago, but you just took it out for some reason.

Even the horizon looks brown at this time of the year. 

Brown, brown, brown, brown, brown. 

I love Christmas, but I don’t like brown. 

I’m allergic to the dust. It makes my throat itch, my nose bleed and my eyes to tear up.

I almost always have sore throat. 

Even the weather takes a toll on my lips. And I have my lip balm close all the while. But that’s no problem for me. I’ve been practicing all day. 

Anyways enough about that. 

Brown is not all that bad after all. Brown comes with cold, the harmattan. 

And I really love the cold. 

Lol, someone once said, the only difference between winter and harmattan is visa. 

I thought it was funny. 

But I don’t really agree though. Because the harmattan doesn’t freeze ponds and water bodies. 

The harmattan never enters the negative degrees. 

And I know snow is more serious than most of us think. 

Lol, let me digress, when I was younger, before geography came into my life, I used to wonder why Nigeria didn’t have snow. For Some other countries in Africa experience this phenomenon. 

The conclusion I arrived at, was that God probably knew, how our leaders would be. And him knowing that they might not be able to adequately manage the snow, might lead to catastrophic events. 

And so we don’t have snow. 

Well, geography helped me understand better or so I think. That it was because of our position by the equator. To damn hot.

Anyways I might be wrong, but these two explanations would be in my head till I’m corrected.

 You know what!?

Once I put this down, I’ll ask google. 

Just make sure in the comment you ask me for what Google said so if I haven’t I can go and ask. 

If Christmas were a Nigerian, he’d be an akwa Ibom man named Brown!
And no, not because of Eddie.

I just want to bring a different angle into talking about Christmas. 

From the perspective of color.

So it’s your turn now.

What color is Christmas to you? 
Photo via.

FIRE KEEP BLAZING.

FIRE KEEP BLAZING! 

Whoever said DJ Khaled does not inspire, would not know inspiration if it hit them in the nose. 

*gong, chime, drumroll or whatever happens when someone drops a line like that. 

Yes, I know that what inspires one might be trash to another. But I’ve actually found wisdom nuggets in Khaled’s snapchat. 

“Life is like an elevator, it goes up down up down.” 

Or how about, 

“Rise up, wise up, bless up.” 

“I promise you they don’t want you eating breakfast like this.”

The list is endless. Trust me it’s endless. And when you think he’s run out of success nuggets, he’ll hit you with another one! 

*another gong or chime please! Do the sound in ya head. 

But seriously, another thing that has inspired me is this; looking at his house, his food and his stuff, I’m like gosh, I want to be able to afford this kind of things in the future. 

Even though I’m not given to much spending. Being able to afford it if I wanted to would be really nice you know. Imagine all the good you could do with that much.

So you see, when I want to give up on my hustle, I’ll just remember his house.

So, fire keep blazing.

Yesterday morning, I was actually joking, but I made a Monday motivation video of something Khaled could do. 

I went to my kitchen, looked around, saw the fire on a burner and began to preach.

I remember saying something like this, “you see that right there, that’s fire. It’s one of the keys to success. If you want to be successful you’ve got to have the fire. They don’t want you to have the fire. They want to put it out. But you must not let them. You’ve got to have the fire man. Bless up!”

Funny how, that’s actually true.

What happens when you get an idea in your head? You’re excited not so? 

You feel the zeal, energy it’s like you can go out there and do it right then. 

But then say, you tell one or two people and they don’t think it’s such a great idea. Ouch. You’re fire takes a douse of cold water. 

If you’re strong, even though your fire has been tampered with, you’ll keep moving. But there’s no doubt your energy level is not the same.

I don’t believe in bad ideas. 

I think it’s all about perspective. 

I might not agree with what you’re doing, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea. 

But when discouragement comes in its many forms, you owe it to your present self, and your future self, and all the people who’ll be positively affected by what you’re doing to keep the fire blazing.

So how do you do this?

Motivate yourself.

Be close to people who motivate you.

Have a plan and stick to it.

Look at your past successes.

Be close to people who’ve achieved similar things. 

And many more.

You just have to keep the fire blazing man.

You have to. 

I promise you, it’ll be worth it.

Photo via.