You ever been in a situation where you try so hard in an old relationship that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. 

Like you know it’s not going anywhere but you just hang on you know? For the sake of old times and all of that? 

Well I’ve been there. And what usually happens is that forcing it? Rather than fixing stuff it’ll most often sour the relationship even more. 

Everyone comes to our lives for a reason. Some have their purposes fulfilled in a short term. Some in the mid term to long run and some would be there for the rest of our lives.

Interestingly, some won’t even discover/fulfill their purpose in your life. They just come and perambulate. But this isn’t about them. They are they. Let’s leave they alone. 

So my point is, we are not going to be friends with everyone for ever. 
Some people we would have to let go you know. Not because of pride, arrogance or any of that. But because we change, we grow, we develop different interests and get on different paths. 

In my opinion, when we force things we ruin the good memories, good times and lessons we’ve accumulated over the years or time spent together. 

So here’s what I suggest. Should you find yourself in a relationship that’s gone sour past the point of no return, it’s time to end it. 

Treasure the memories, treasure the good times, and all the lessons and just let it be. 

After all, in the words of Sandi Lynn, “at some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.”

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It has come to my notice that we girls tend to dress indecently. 

Honestly, I have been culprit of indecent dressing once or twice, or maybe a couple of 100 times. lol. Seriously though, I want to know when the dressing can undoubtedly be termed “indecent”

We girls tend to dress according to trend. These days though, the trend is to show more skin, and wear bold attires that tend to captivate the attention of people when we step in a room, or walk on the road, you know what I mean. 

But I want to know, is it really worth it? As much as we like to be the centre of attention and attraction, what kind of attention are we attracting. 

Most times when my friends tell me some guy on the road harassed them or someone was following them with his car I first of all ask “What were you wearing? ” because it’s a known fact that men are attracted/turned on by what they see. 

So sister if you’ve ever been follwed by a car chances are the brother was attracted to you very sexy looking stomach in that crop top, or your thighs in the skirt or maybe the figure hugging dress you wore “just to go get something” ,or “just to go see him or her ”

In my opinion, it is very okay to be attractive and show off what you’ve got, but you should really take into consideration the type of attention you’d be attracting and maybe it will shape your choice of clothes . Unless you enjoy the attention, the lustful looks , and perversive comments . But be sure to know that rape is real

Also, the type of pictures we take and put up in social media can attract perverse attention. I for one hate nasty comments on my pictures. So I try to keep them decent even though some times I can’t help myself. I’d talk more on this in my next article. 

Let me know if you love it or not so, I’d know for sure if this is my calling or not . Do have a Blessed day💜💜

Oshime Gbafe.

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*feature image source.*

“Why in the world am I here”. 
Those were the words that kept ringing in my head as I made my way down the 4th isle in Oriental hotel, where some string instrumentalists or whatever they called themselves were having a mini concert. 

My friend Kaylah had insisted I tag along for extra support for her boyfriend who was part of the performers. I was as much of a lover of music as I am now then but I just didn’t get classical music. It was sleep music, useless and meaningless to me. 

I groaned and complained causing as much fuss as I could muster up but I knew I wasn’t going anywhere, Kaylah wouldn’t let me. With all the lack of enthusiasm in the world, I left my comfortable bed and tagged along to a torturous night ahead. 

I didn’t leave unprepared though, I carried with me a pair of extremely loud headphones and my iPod, ready to block out the unbearable sound of violins and basses as soon as they started. 

The program’s order of events were soon passed around and immediately Kayla’s boyfriend’s name was spotted as one of the last few people to perform out of like 60, I almost lost my mind. I started calculating the amount of battery life I would need, the amount of hours of my life I would waste. So many annoyed thoughts were scrambling through my head all at once that I didn’t even notice a man alight the stage, I didn’t notice him set his bow and I didn’t notice the lights dimming and the crowd quietening. 

I did, however notice the start of the music. It caught me by surprise, the notes, the delicacy with which he held the double bass, and the fluid movement of his hands. Life slowed down for me, I couldn’t see anyone else, it was just me and this talented young man. He played and played and I was mesmerized, watching, lost and deeply transfixed. 

I do not know how long that man had played for, but I know I had tears in my eyes at the end. I stood up and clapped my hands to numbness at the end of his performance. I sat down, ignoring the baffled look on Kayla’s face. I quickly took my headphones and iPod and set them away in my backpack because I was certain I wouldn’t be needing them anymore.

“Modern man is full of platitudes about living life to its fullest, with catchy keychain phrases and little plaques for kitchen walls. But if you’ve never retreated to the solitude of a dark room and listened to Beethoven’s Ninth from start to finish, you know nothing. For music is a transcendental exploration of human emotion and experience, the very fabric of life in its purest form. And the Ninth our greatest musical achievement.” – Tiffany Madison.

TODAY’S QUOTE: Same Rope You Climb up on.. 

“The same rope you climb up on they’ll hang you with.”

Hmm. They again. 

I first heard this quote from papi Dave the uncanny man. More recently, I heard it on a J Cole song “Fire Squad” which is where it originated. 

Anyways, to me it means that we have to be careful about the means with which we achieve anything. 

Our means has to be good, legit and clean otherwise that means/route to our achievement, wealth and accolades could be our undoing. 

The means has a prominent part to play, in the justification of the end after all. 

Thank you for reading. 

Let me know what it means to you. 

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There’s this Basketmouth story called two things involved. In it Basketmouth explains that in life there are two things involved, either you’re a man or a woman. 

According to him, if you’re a woman you are safe but if you are a man, there are two things involved. 

Basketmouth continues following a series of choices where the man is either safe or at the mercy of the “two things involved.”

It goes on till the man gets in a situation and there is only one thing involved. To die. 

But that aside. In friendships, there are two things involved as well. 

It’s either,

 your friends are pushing you to be better, helping you move forward, and encouraging you to fulfill your goals. 


They are holding you back and keeping you from getting there. 
I’m sorry but there’s no other way about it. It’s just that. 

It’s no secret how lately I’ve not had the energy for certain types of conversation. I’ve gotten a lot of stick for it and sometimes I’ve wondered, am I wrong? 

But not anymore. Thanks to Dana chanel’s Instagram post. you do not have to engage in time wasters and conversation or activities that are not taking you closer to your goals because what they do hold you back. 

According to she, the enemy is so subtle an at times uses our friends to hold us back in the form of idle chit chat and meaningless conversation. 

So don’t let anyone hold you back any more. 

I understand, that there are certain friends we feel it’s our duty to help or to carry along because of one thing or the other they might have done for us in the past. 

I feel it too. My day ones. 

But the thing is, as my mum would say, you have to be up to bring someone up. You can’t be on the ground and raise another person up. The both of you would remain down that way. 

So one way you can help that friend is by making something of yourself first. Then helping them out. 
It’s not that carrying your friends along is a bad idea. And there are friends who do this for me and I for them. 

But you have to be able to note when the person you’re trying to help is only slowing you down. At that point you need to cut the person off for both of your benefit. 
It’s not selfishness, it’s common sense.

And you, what kind of friend are you? Are holding your friends back? Or are you helping them improve? Are you the camphor to their paper boat or are you dead weight? 

I leave you with the words of the Vincent Enyeama meme. “Don’t let the devil use you.” 
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“They don’t want you to win.”

“They don’t want you happy.”

“They don’t want you to jet ski.”

“They get mad when you have joy.”

Truth be told, the only they capable of stopping you from winning, are the they that exist in your head. 

Because though there might be truly people uncomfortable with your success, people whose happiness come from seeing you lose, they have no power over you. 

Like Chelsea has a better chance of winning the premier league than they have of stopping you from your wins because they just don’t have the power. 

They can only stop you if you let them. 

Originally, these haters have no power over us other than the one we give to them. 

Here’s how. 

As a child of God, good person, or one who hasn’t wronged another person, there is a protective hedge over you that can only be broken from the inside. 

In other words we are the ones who break this hedge over us when we sin, offend others purposely or set out to hurt others. Or do evil.

The consequences/bad karma as a result of these wrong actions include the breaking of the hedge thus leaving one susceptible to stake from they. 

And that is why they(the good they that invent all the popular sayings I.e) say, if God be for you who can be against you? 

No one. 

Or as Mr. Ojimadu C more accurately puts, “no one but yourself.”
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Play Excellent Soccer this 2016.

You probably already know that the 28th of May this year is my birthday. That day this year is going to be an awesome one because not only is it my birthday, it’s Semilore’s as well. 

As if two guys of our status celebrating birthday on the same day is not enough tension for a day, there’s going to be a live sporting activity. 

It’s called playing excellent soccer PES16 for short. It’s going down at the campos mini stadium, igbosere lagos island. And the ticket is chicken change when the fun and excitement you’ll get is considered. 

With a gate fee of just 1000 naira not pounds, you have the opportunity to play excellent football, expose your talent to scouts, meet beautiful people and possibly get signed to a local club😉😉.

So save the date on your calendars people. 

The 28th of May 2016. Don’t make other plans. 

See you there 🤘🏽🤘🏽. 

Brough to you by palmaris media. 

Kelechi Ochulo for palmaris. 

Annoyed Amina.

Please read, comment and most especially share in the hope that it gets into the right hands and the nonsense comes to an end.

As told by Amina

I came across an article on Linda Ikeji’s blog (click here to article) & I found it really disgusting. A company decided to start making child dolls in order to satisfy the urges of pedophiles.
Pedophile – a person who has sexual interest in children
Source: Merriam Webster dictionary.

The owner of the company claims to be helping people who have the urges & also preventing abuse of children. But hello !!, who agrees with me when I say he is doing the exact opposite ?
Giving them encouragement to indulge in their urges only makes them want to do it more. It’s like saying giving someone porn to watch will prevent them from actually having sex if they get an opportunity. Forgive me if my language is too intense but this needs to be said.

Now I’m not an expert in dealing with pedophiles & I do not know…

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I don’t know about you, but sometimes I’ve wondered, in an emotion close to but not exactly fear, if I’ll ever run out of ideas of things to write. 

I guess this is something every creative wonders because my good friend Amina has wondered the same thing. 

While wondering though, the thought that came to my mind was this, “as long as I’m original, and doing my thing, this same brain that has been able to produce these write ups with God’s help will continue to do so.” 

That is, the same way I’ve been able to come up with what to write so far, is the same way I’ll keep getting ideas from things happening around me. 

Granted, there are times you will be without inspiration. These periods are a trial for every creative. But no worries. It’s only a phase and would in due time come to pass. 

I like how one pastor put it. I was on the phone with Efe the other day and somehow what we were talking about turned to originality and things like that. 

Efe told me about a pastor who said he’s not bothered when people rip off his sermons, or pass his message across as theirs because he is tapping from a stream that never runs dry. 

And that’s how it is for us creatives. 

So long as you remain original and true to yourself. 
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You are right. Communication is a two way thing but talking back is certainly not part of the communication process. When an older person speaks to you harshly probably in chiding you to make corrections, if you respond back in anger then you are actually talking back which might amount to disrespect. But if you take your time and go back to the person and state objectively that you really understand his or her point but u dislike the approach in which that was done then it becomes a communication. If the person is sane he/she will know that you are not talking back but only expressing your feelings which has been hurt and should be respected.