AWAKENING TO A SENSE OF PURPOSE. 

I’m surrounded by so much positive energy and people right now. You know the kind that fuels you for the future? That pushes you to be all you can be? It’s such a joy! 

Like things are happening man. 

There seems to be some simultaneous awakening to a sense of purpose, responsibility and duty that’s just in the air. I really wish you could get on it/experience it. It’s one of the best things that have happened to me.

As you get on it though, I must warn you. You would have to sacrifice a lot of people, places and things, a lot of people would misunderstand you and label you, but that’s okay. Because what really matters is not what you’re saying no to right now. But what you’re saying yes to. The bright future that’s ahead of you.

You might not be able to relate to this. But then again, you might. And you might feel alone in this new awakening, for a long time I have. 

But I promise you, there’s like a bunch of us youth like you who are experiencing similar things, youth who are consumed with vision, and who are working to create the future they desire for themselves. 

I promise you to not give up because you’re alone or misunderstood, very soon you’ll find you’re not alone.

And Somehow we’ll all channel our individual energies and shake the world. Starting with our country Nigeria. See ehn, this world is going to know I was in it. What about you? 

May 7, 2016.

12.39am. 
Kelechi Ochulo.

Image source. 

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YOU WON’T ALWAYS GET IT ON THE FIRST TRY, BUT THAT SHOULDN’T STOP YOU. 

It is said that whoever has not failed before, has not done anything for the first time. Now while failure could be relative and its meaning varying with different individuals, one constant applying to everyone is that you would not always get it right the first time. 

You fall while learning to walk, while learning to ride a bike the odds are great that you would fall and perhaps sustain an injury, and it is said that while learning to drive if you have not had an accident(reversing into an electric pole or hitting the goal post in a football field perhaps, you guessed right, those were my accidents) you have not started.

Whether you agree with this or not, the fact still remains that you won’t always get it right the first time. 

Given this piece of somewhat discouraging information, what do you do? Do you because you fail at your first try you give up? And pick the path of less resistance or do you keep on?

Many times I start writing something, it’s not flowing as I want and I get discouraged and leave it entirely. But this is wrong and something I plan to stop. Which is mainly why I’m writing this, because you like me might have gotten discouraged when you didn’t get something right the first time. Stopping because of that would not make things better but only end your chances of ever getting it right in future. 

You just have keep moving. Just like you did with walking, talking and writing, you’ll get the hang of whatever it is eventually. And in due time, you’ll get to the point where getting it on the first try becomes second nature, and whenever you touch it it turns to gold. 

Do have a great week ahead! 

Regards, 

Kelechi Ochulo.

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FOR THE STRENGHT TO MOVE ON.

You ever been in a situation where you try so hard in an old relationship that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. 

Like you know it’s not going anywhere but you just hang on you know? For the sake of old times and all of that? 

Well I’ve been there. And what usually happens is that forcing it? Rather than fixing stuff it’ll most often sour the relationship even more. 

Everyone comes to our lives for a reason. Some have their purposes fulfilled in a short term. Some in the mid term to long run and some would be there for the rest of our lives.

Interestingly, some won’t even discover/fulfill their purpose in your life. They just come and perambulate. But this isn’t about them. They are they. Let’s leave they alone. 

So my point is, we are not going to be friends with everyone for ever. 
Some people we would have to let go you know. Not because of pride, arrogance or any of that. But because we change, we grow, we develop different interests and get on different paths. 

In my opinion, when we force things we ruin the good memories, good times and lessons we’ve accumulated over the years or time spent together. 

So here’s what I suggest. Should you find yourself in a relationship that’s gone sour past the point of no return, it’s time to end it. 

Treasure the memories, treasure the good times, and all the lessons and just let it be. 

After all, in the words of Sandi Lynn, “at some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.”

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MAKE IT COUNT.

I live in Iwoye a new and still developing community in Ota local government area on the thin line that separates Ogun and Lagos state.

We moved there to be far enough from the hustle and bustle of Lagos but still be close so when we needed to get to the office or any other place, we could do so with ease. 

Like I said, it’s a new community and just opening up. As a result, the major economic activity here is building and construction. Here the traders sale building materials, the aritisans craft building materials and furniture, there are labourers everywhere you turn. 

These labourers are in all sizes and ages. There are the kids and the aged. Whenever I go out and see labourers close to my age or younger than I am working, I begin to think of my life. 

I begin to wonder, am I hardworking enough? Can I do what they’re doing? Do I really appreciate what I have? If I were in their shoes would I survive? Seeing them is quite thought provoking. 

Just today, I saw one of them again and began to be in my feelings as usual. Then the thought came to me, that I’m not moving iron rods, or digging a foundation doesn’t necessarily mean I’m not hardworking. 

The stream of positive thoughts continued – in this life, we don’t seem to have a say in our nationality, color of our skins, family we’re born into, or circumstances of our birth and living. Those parts of life are beyond our power.

We do have power though, over what we do in these situations we find ourselves. We can choose to make good with what we have. 

It’s kind of like a card game. We don’t get to choose our cards. But how well we play the cards we’re dealt with determines how well we finish. 

I’m reminded of the parable of the talents. To one was given five, another two, and the last was given one. The one given five who doubled it to get 10 was considered a success but so was the one given two who doubled it to get four. 

The only person considered a failure was the one who decided well since he has only one talent he’d just bury it till his master comes. Maybe he was discouraged by what he saw others with. Maybe he was overwhelmed with life’s challenges and how little he felt he had. 

That regardless, because he cowered and decided to resign to his state, he isn’t remembered in a positive light. 

It’s like that in life. We’re given different cards. But success is making the best use of what we have. 

Now, I’ll no longer feel bad. I’ll just make conscious effort with what I’m blessed with and the education I’m privileged to have access to, to create something valuable in this life. 

I expect you to do same. 

Don’t worry about what you don’t have and what they have. Don’t worry about  where you’re staring from. Don’t worry about the challenges. Just make the best use of what you have and make it count! 

God bless your hustle. 

Safe. 

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WE SEE/UNDERSTAND THINGS DIFFERENTLY.

It may sound like balls but there’s truth in this. 

As our faces are different so are our life experiences, backgrounds and upbringing. 

All of which affects the way a person thinks, understands and sees things. 

As a result, some times people would see things differently from you. You might say something to others and they get a different meaning from it. 

Sometimes, we are quick to judge because people don’t agree with us or don’t see things as we do. This shouldn’t be so. This shouldn’t be the cause of a fight.

Should this happen, try to make yourself understood. But before that even, try and understand where the person is coming from.

Try walking a mile in their shoes, or seeing the world through their eyes. Try and understand. 

Understanding may not necessarily mean agreeing a hundred percent but still try and understand. 

In the process, not only would you learn more, but also your horizons would be broadened, you will have more experiences and what could have ended up a hostile situation would remain a friendly exchange.

DONT PLAY YOURSELF.

Have you ever been in one of those situations, where in all sincerity you know you were the one who put yourself in a position of disadvantage? Or should I say in a point to be insulted? 

Well, if so you played yourself. 

The message here is simple. Don’t play yourself. Don’t ever play yourself. 

Sometimes we play ourselves unconcsiously. You have a class to attend an you decide to cut class for no reason. Congratulations. You just played yourself. 

What if in that class the instructor touched on very key points you’ll need later? Besides all the lessons are like pieces of a puzzle that might not look like anything on their own, but are part of the big picture. 

You are playing yourself if you have opportunity to learn a skill, but you pass on the opportunity because no one else is doing something like that. Or maybe you are ashamed for one reason or another. 

If so, you are playing yourself big time! Because no one ever becomes truly wealthy with just one 9-5 job. And the way Nigeria is that jobs are not guaranteed, you need to have something doing other than what you’ve studied in the university. 

You are playing yourself if you have the opportunity to learn a foreign language and you pass. Extra languages and skills are some of the things that look attractive on a C.V and set you apart from other job seekers! 

You are playing yourself if you look down on others and pass on the opportunity to make contacts and meet new people. Because you are no fortune teller and can’t write someone’s future off. You never know whose help you might need in future. 

You are playing yourself if you think you are being smart by cutting corners and cheating. You are setting a trap for yourself that would catch up to you in the future. 

I’ll allow you to figure out other ways in which you can play yourself and avoid it. 

Don’t play yourself. Don’t put yourself in a position to be insulted or that would be a disadvantage to you later. 

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DON’T SLEEP ON AN IDEA! 

Hey everyone! I hope the beginning of your 2016 has been a chilled one! Mine definitely has. 

If you read my last post before somto’s contribution, you should be able to remember I mentioned that a lot of us left 2015 with untapped ideas, unspoken words that should have been spoken, things we should have created that we didn’t etc etc. 

basically, I’m referring to anything that required us to take action that we failed to do.

My plan is to drastically reduce the occurrence of such in my life in this year 2016. I hope you’re thinking that way too.

In a bid to be able to prevet such this year, I came up with this theory/idea, motto or whatever fits best. 

That is to never to go to sleep on an idea. Now let me clarify myself. I just mean after gettin an idea during the day, don’t go to bed without carrying out some action on it. 

Maybe writing it down, and giving it some rational consideration. Maybe carrying out feasibility studies on it. 

If you are creative, it also means that if you get an idea or concept don’t go to bed without putting the first draft/rough work down. 

We need to know that there are no bad ideas. There’s only wrong perspectives, timing, aims, priorities and execution. 

How many times have people written off an idea only for it to turn into a million dollar venture later. 

Don’t let anyone discourage you. Most importantly, don’t discourage yourself by not doing anything about your ideas. 

Ignore your ideas and much later you might wish you hadn’t when you see someone do something similar and reap rewards as a result!

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IN THE SPIRIT OF THE NEW YEAR!

Looking at my life, I’ve been privileged that most of my childhood has been on the move. I was born in Calabar after three years we moved to Abuja, after some time again we moved to Abia, and now we’re in Lagos. And who knows for how long? Soon I’ll be off to school.

As kids we’ve always been excited about change. Well, it was more like a bittersweet feeling for us. We’d feel about the friends and family we’ll leave behind. But also excitement about the new places and friends we might discover. Oh and the possibility of a new lifestyle. when things become predictable they can be a bore.

Speaking of which, whenever a move was imminent, my sisters and I would fantasize about what we’d do differently in the new house. For some reason, we had no plans on starting it till we’d moved to the new house.

Funny though, when we’d be settled in our new place, no one would remember what it is we agreed to do! When anyone of my sisters or I now bring it up it’d be met with laughs. And just like that it’d be dismissed.

Lately, I’ve been working out you know😌. Trying to up my chest game you know what I’m saying?! Anyways it’s just been basic sit-ups and push ups. Nothing too serious. I’m not allowed to practice my favorite form of exercise, football, because of the tough guys who speak another language around here.

So anyways, even though my parents have gym equipments, I’ve always been like alright let me go to university first and I’ll start intense gyming! Deep down, I’m laughing at myself and I have a feeling if I don’t start now with what I have, this my gym plan might just end up like my childhood fantasies. Abandoned.

So why am I sharing this?

Well this is the season people decide to make resolutions. Aren’t some of these familiar to you?

“New year, new me.”

“With the new year, I’ll cut off all the people who don’t add anything to my life.”

“From next year, I won’t care anymore.”

“Starting next year, I’ll work harder at my goals.”

These are all great ideas really great. But the truth is, if you don’t do it today, what makes you think you can do it tomorrow?

At least my childhood experiences should have proven that. If you keep saying when I get this thing or get to a certain place I would start doing this. If you don’t do it now, you might not be able to do it then.

Sure, there are certain things that would require you to be somewhere else for it to be better carried out. That’s true. But that notwithstanding, you have to do something now so when that time comes you just make use of the new location or things to improve on what you’ve already done.

So if you’re planning on making any big changes in the new year? The lesson is start now!!
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KNOW YOUR CRAFT!

I’ve been beating myself up in my mind for not putting any words on paper these last few days. 

Well up untill earlier today, that I had a paradigm shift. A change of perspective if you will. 

What happened is, I was recently joined in some sort of matrimony with some news books, till finishing do us part. 

No matter how much I love and hate the book(because I actually do hate the book somehow,) I can’t bring myself to drop it. 

I finished it and immediately started reading it’s sequel. 

The thought of loosing two more days of creative work frighten me and so I’ve put the book down. Let me atleast get some work done not so? 

So it was just till earlier today that I realized it not exactly a waste of time you know.

 Like I deal with words right? If I want to get better I just have to read. Different novels different authors with different writing styles.

It is by communing with these writing gurus through their work that I can improve in mine!

You get the picture? 

Abraham Lincoln said, if he had 8 hours to cut down a tree he’d spend the first 4 hours sharpening the saw. 

In other words he was emphasizing preparation. 

You have to know your craft in order to excel at it. 

So if it’s writing you’re into, read a lot. If it’s photography? Study about it. Modelling? Same thing goes. 

You just have to know your craft. 

A word of caution to this tale though. If you decide to spend all your time studying and planning but no time executing, it’ll be as good as not studying at all. 

So nothing over much. In all things, moderation.

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FOR WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN.

Ok so I thought of something earlier today and I’ll like to share with you reading this. 

First of, I’m glad you’re reading this because it shows my effort isn’t in vain, and it just might help you out. 
It’s about getting out of emotionally down times.

Before I go further, a disclaimer; I’m no expert on this issue, as falling sick frequently doesn’t make one an expert physician. However, one who falls sick frequently, at some point, is able to know what drugs work and what doesn’t, which health practices help and what not. That is where i stand. 

Now, I realized today, that the first step in getting out of an “emotional slump” is to literally take that first step. Get out of there. 

Let me throw more light. 

Most of the time, when I’m in these my “dark times” as the weeknd calls them, I’m mostly on my bed or sitting still and thinking negative thoughts. Allowing bad vibes to envelop me. 

While one can’t help getting in these moods at times, we do have power over our response. 
I’ve noticed that whenever I’ve gotten back to the light, the first step I did was getting out of that “stance of defeat.”

If I’m in my room, I leave my room to go do a chore or just take a shower. If I’m lying down, I get up and get around to get busy with something positive. 

Very regularly, when I’m in my feelings, I feel like, “alright, let’s see what life wants to throw at me. Let me see what life is going to bring next.”

Only today, did I realize how fundamentally flawed this form of thinking is. 

I can’t sit and let life happen to me, when there’s a much better choice of going out there and happening to life! 

Who was it that said, the best cure for these negative feelings is to go and do something good for another person. 

Service, no matter how big or small is another method that helps me. When you’re serving another, you are able to take your mind of you and your problems. 

Doing so enables me to begin to feel better. 

One thing leads to another and I begin to feel better. 

So let me go over the major points. 

1. When you catch yourself slipping into negative feelings, get out of there! In the literal sense. Find some other place and something good to do. 

2. Don’t wait for what else life brings your way, go and happen to life! Take initiative and do new things! 

3. Serve others. Serving others would take your focus of you and your problems and leave you feeling better as an end result. 

Thank you for reading this far. 

My dear friend Debbie told me once that, she doesn’t like self help material. Her reason being that most of the time, the author just discusses a method that works for him/her. 

What proof is there that it’ll work for another? 

In all honesty, this is no exception as I’m discussing methods that work for me. 

But then again, how will you know if it’ll work for you or not. There’s only one way to find out.

Remain positive. 

With love, 

Kelechi Ochulo.

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