Every now and then, whenever I’m out, I run into certain individuals who’d like to give their unsolicited opinions on my life.
Don’t assume that I’m a person that hates advice though. Very wrong! For in the multitude of counsel, there is safety. But when I need advice, I know who to go to.
I’m not open about my plans for school with everyone. If I let you in on what’s going on, I consider you a friend, family or a father or mother figure.
Like people just come up to you and lecture on what you should do without knowing you or what you’re really doing, for example, I was at dad’s office and this guy, who I always greet well, maybe thinking that that made him and I paddies, came to me and was telling me about how I shouldn’t be wasting my time and wasn’t my UTME good? Why am I not in school and all that? Don’t waste your life and all that.
But the guy doesn’t know that I’m at dad’s office because I take certification courses at Aptech which is also at Allen. He doesn’t know that I’m not wasting my time at home, as I’m learning, still studying, reading and writing everyday. He doesn’t know that I’m not in a hurry to go to school and at the moment I’ve had 2 offers of admission I’ve had to turn down and I’m just waiting till when I feel the best time for me to go would be.
This morning again, one particular mum, at my sisters’ school whom I used to like, notice I said used to, came and started asking about UTME, at first I was thrown aback and was like wait what? Dad now began to answer her. She now started lecturing on how was it really necessary to go abroad and all that. I think she really wants me and her son to be on the same plane as if it’s competition?
Every time what are you doing? Oh you’re learning this..well Ayo already knows how to do this, or ayo already learnt this? Or my ayo had started driving how far can you take the car out?
As if all that was not enough, she was now asking about where I was going and whether I was traveling with dad, and for some reason I wasn’t in a hurry to let her know about my plans for this morning. So because they asked ogini? Which means what in Igbo and I didn’t want to let them in on my plans they decided I didn’t understand Igbo.
I swear my dad legit fell my hand and I told him so. Immediately he now asked sarcastically like does the guy even understand Igbo? Like it’s not me and him that converse in our dialect. I knew this was going to lead to questions about my background that my family and I don’t like to bring up.
Immediately, ahh why doesn’t he understand the language? It’s not good na. Dad was now turning around and I didn’t even want to come to his aid cause he put himself there not me.
Because of the nature of my dad’s job when we were much younger, we lived in government quarters and were required to keep a low profile as much as possible. So low to the point we weren’t supposed to speak our native tongue so our neighbors wouldn’t know where we were from.
But no they don’t know that. And they began to lecture on how, what if I wanted to go into politics… At this point i had to freaking tune her out because i had had it up to here with this her attitude.
This is not the only time she’s given unsolicited advice, neither was it the last time today. Because after sometime they now turned to my friend Seyi and his mum, Seyi is my brother and his mum is my mum too. Let the boy drive na. It’s just here your going let the boy drive na.
No they don’t know that in his house, his dad had already given a criteria to meet before he started. No they don’t know that. It was just he’s a big boy na let him drive,
And I swear I felt for Seyi and his mum and myself (because for reasons behind my control this morning I had to be there and wait and listen to all they we’re saying.) and they were waiting there for this woman and another mother to finish lecturing them. People that were in a hurry to go so Seyi could get in his journey to school.
When they found that out, they started on which was the best route to take and in my mind I’m like fudge! Who do these people think they are? Do they know what’s best for you more than your parents and God? Does everything you do have to be like theirs?? For crying out loud, do they know that in our families no decision is made without prayerful consideration?
If you’ve ever been a victim of this kind of people please don’t ever let them make you doubt what you and your parents have planned. People with helpful advice, you know there’s a way they go about it. They don’t impose it on you.
Everyone doesn’t have to understand what you’re doing with your life, so long as you do. If you have a clear vision and you’re on track please don’t let their ramblings deter you.
I remember a quote i saw once regarding this kind of people, and I’ll end it with that.
“Listen, smile, nod, then do whatever the f*** you were going to do anyway”
Forgive me. I’m pissed.
Have a good day.