MIDNIGHT MUSINGS: ON WILLPOWER AND IMPULSIVE ACTIONS.

Idk but I feel like it’s just a thin line, that separates mental stability from mental instability. On more than one occasion, the urge to act instinctively has been so strong, almost overpowering. Many times the results of these urges would have been mortifying, catastrophic and fatal.

I’m not sure if this is the same with others, or if I’m harboring over the brink of some disorder. But I do know, that the gift of willpower, the ability to say yes or no to some of these urges as they come is something I’ll be eternally grateful for.

Seeing this my condition, I think you’ll agree with me that it’s wise the decision I’ve made not to smoke or drink, or take any substances that might inhibit my ability to think clearly and make rational decisions. Anything that would take my willpower away from me is a no no, because really it is why I’m still alive. 

Sometimes I think if these are the thoughts I can be having when I’m sober, what’ll happen if I were drunk. I shudder to think what.

And by the way, that thin line I mentioned earlier? It’s willpower. At least in my case.
                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                  Image source.

AWAKENING TO A SENSE OF PURPOSE. 

I’m surrounded by so much positive energy and people right now. You know the kind that fuels you for the future? That pushes you to be all you can be? It’s such a joy! 

Like things are happening man. 

There seems to be some simultaneous awakening to a sense of purpose, responsibility and duty that’s just in the air. I really wish you could get on it/experience it. It’s one of the best things that have happened to me.

As you get on it though, I must warn you. You would have to sacrifice a lot of people, places and things, a lot of people would misunderstand you and label you, but that’s okay. Because what really matters is not what you’re saying no to right now. But what you’re saying yes to. The bright future that’s ahead of you.

You might not be able to relate to this. But then again, you might. And you might feel alone in this new awakening, for a long time I have. 

But I promise you, there’s like a bunch of us youth like you who are experiencing similar things, youth who are consumed with vision, and who are working to create the future they desire for themselves. 

I promise you to not give up because you’re alone or misunderstood, very soon you’ll find you’re not alone.

And Somehow we’ll all channel our individual energies and shake the world. Starting with our country Nigeria. See ehn, this world is going to know I was in it. What about you? 

May 7, 2016.

12.39am. 
Kelechi Ochulo.

Image source. 

MOHAMMED-SAHEED “AYO” BUSARI.

With Ayo Busari there is certainly more than meets the eye. While he’s very popular for his thriving photography, and his experiments with filmography, this I tell you is just the tip of the iceberg of what he can do.

  
Like did you know, he designs graphics, writes poems, songs and articles from time to time! Me I’m one person that’s all about transcending society’s bounds and living above already established status quo (Check out Nnamdi,and  Meka also ), because of that, it shouldn’t be hard to see why I am in awe of this young man Busari. Doing well in a society that has made us to believe if you do more than one thing you can never do any well.

Fueled by his love for art and nature, and his dream to see people of color earn major recognition in the global art industry, he has chosen to study journalism and media. 
Ayo drives himself to do more, to be more by teaching himself most of what he knows. “It’s just practice and practice.”, He said. But not without adding  “and few sleepless nights.” His motto being if I try, I can it is not hard to see why he can do well in a bunch of things.

When asked what he’ll like the world to know, this is what he has to say, “I’m just a camera boy who loves art and nature, I am always trying to capture moments in words and images.” 

Well Ayo has captured my admiration, love and respect this night. If you asked me this feature was long overdue. But I’m glad I waited. So now anyone reading this would know Ayo Busari is more than just about photography. Ayo is trying to make an impact! One project at a time. 

In the mean time, his short film, Zanto the strange man drops anytime soon. You can be sure I’ll keep you posted. Do look forward to it.

   
 

MIDNIGHT MUSINGS- DARKNESS IS NOT AN ENTITY. 

I don’t believe darkness is an entity of it own. I don’t believe it’s a living thing capable of moving growing or influencing all by itself. Or because of its ability. 

As far as I’m concerned,Darkness is simply the name used to denote the absence of a thing. That thing is called light. 

No man trying to dispel darkness succeeds at this by fighting darkeness. No, picture somebody running around in a dark space vigorously flailing his/her arms in the air and hurling insults. Would that solve the problem? Would that dispel the darkness? 

No, that’ll simply get the person written off as insane, mentally unstable, not to be taken seriously and not suitable for work.

Darkness is neither dispersed by crying, weeping, wailing to high heavens, neither is it dispersed by blaming all the people who’ve been there before or who put you in that dark state. No. 

To get rid of darkness it’s quite simple. You just have to turn on the light. In most cases increase the light. Needless to say at that moment darkness is no where to be seen. It’s gone just like that. 

So I’m not sure what you’re going through. What dark corner you or they have boxed you into, or maybe you’ve unconsciously been swallowed or lost in its wide expanse. It doesn’t really matter how. All that matters is that you turn on the light and keep increasing it.

I urge you to atleast give it a try. Find the light source, keep it on a perpetual increase and watch your self/relationship/situation or whatever, get better. 

Written April 15, 2016 at 3:32am.
Image source.

NEW MONTH MESSAGE: MOVE TO JESUS 

Happy new month dear friends! I’m really excited this first day of May. This month May is very significant to me. Lol you’re probably thinking “Ahhh because it’s your birthday Abi? ” but I promise you it’s deeper than that. 

It’s because just like my coach debbie remarked yesterday it’s almost like I’m a whole new happier person. It’s true I feel that way. 

It’s like I’ve come a long way from the traumatized boy from January. Slowly sinking into all things dirty. In a bid to find escape from my mind. 

I don’t mean to rub my happiness in anyone’s face right now. I’m actually doing this in a bid to share what worked for me. Just incase you’re currently in or if you ever find yourself in similar situations. 
I began noticing major changes, sustained happiness for no reason the day I was said to myself fxxk this, I’m moving to Jesus. (You can Like to worry yourself for my expression or you can take what I’m telling you lol But me I try to be honest and that’s just how it was in my mind.) 

And since that day I decided to focus on Jesus. 

See as far as I’m concerned ehn, it’s one thing to go to church and it’s another to focus on Jesus. It’s one thing to be religious and it’s another thing to focus on Jesus.
 

In fact, I feel in many ways some people let religion and outward performances get in the way of a relationship with Jesus. I won’t say more than that. I’ll let you think on that. 

Like, I urge you to try it. Just ignore the many complexities of religion for a while, ignore the conflicting doctrines among the sects, ignore the things you don’t understand, ignore the doubts as to the validity of it all in your mind, ignore whatever thing might hold you back and just focus on Jesus. 

It can be very simple in a way. 

Read scriptures, pray everyday, ask yourself wwjd very often, radiate positivity, show love to everyone and everything you meet. Even up to the little insects you’d just kill anyhow.(except mosquitoes of course duhh)

My point is give life rather than take life. Add to others rather than subtract. Smile more often. Laugh at everything that happens, crack stupid jokes, be childish. All these little things go a long way. At least they did for me. 

I’m sorry this post is getting way longer than intended, so I’ll begin to round up here. 

This post wouldn’t be complete without thanking all who’ve held me down in one form or the other I love you all.

Happy new month to the best set of friends and family ever. God bless you all.