BEHIND MY SMILE/ THERE WOULD BE BETTER DAYS.

She just sent me a text.

“How are you?”,she said. 

It might take a while before I reply. 

But when I do, I’ll tell her, “I’ve been better.”

Because I’m all about honesty when it comes to the, “how are you?” question.

And when I ask how you are, I really want to know. 

The whole truth. 

And nothing but the truth. 

So that truly is how I can best describe the way I am right now. 

“I’ve been better.”

Knowing how she is, she’s possibly going to reply with a, “huh?” Or “what do you mean?”

But I really don’t know how better to put it, than by saying I’ve seen better days.

Today I just literally chilled and slept. 

Like chilling in the literal sense. 

There were periods where I stayed still and just stared. 

At my walls. 

My confinements.

Oh the bleakness of it all.

The book I’m reading suddenly wasn’t appealing to me.

Nothing brought solace to my situation other than food and sleep. 

Speaking of which, this morning I had to google and check to be sure I don’t have any eating disorder. 

Thankfully I don’t. 

As anorexia and bulimia don’t really describe my case. 

Where I just eat for want of anything better to do. 

I have to watch it though. So it doesn’t escalate to something more problematic. 

Maybe that’s why mum’s so worried by the way I eat bread. 

Maybe it’s not the bread itself but the eating. 

But on the bright side, 

I think I’ve seen worse days. 

Nothing comes to mind now, but I know there’ve definitely been worse days. 

And for that, I have to be grateful. For there are people going through worse.

If the phase I’m in can be described as going through anything that is. 

The other day, I asked my guy how he was. 

I haven’t spoken to him in months. 

I was surprised that he answered though. 

But when he did, he said, “how about you?”

And after a day or three passed, I responded.

“I’ve been on a roller coaster of moods.”, I said.

But the thing about roller coasters is there are times you go up and other times you go down. 

So surely there would better days.

This too shall pass.

Knowing that I’m on a roller coaster kind of removes the bleakness of the situation. 

There is hope.

That there would be better days.

And I would be genuinely content.  

As if the adversary is mocking me, the Red Devils just conceded another goal.

Maybe as far as the champions league is concerned, we are hopeless as a team. 

But not my life.

I know there would be better days. 

My roller coaster would go up again.

And I would enjoy it for as long as it lasts. 

All the while hoping, that like Augustus, I find the roller coaster that only goes up. 

Someday I’ll find it. 

And I’ll hang on forever. 

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THE LIFE AND TIMES OF A YOUNG MAN ON HIS PATH. CHAPTER 1. Pt2

Monday June 15 2015

Today is salami Ayobami’s birthday.

Saturday June 13 was Nurudeen’s birthday.

I was in Mr. Essien’s class today and heard David’s might men and I got an idea for the president’s mighty men.

Tuesday, June 16. Dansol boy’s hostel.

12.30 or something close am.

I was glad when Steve Oseghale woke me up to tell me they had started sharing out night snack of biscuits in the hall,which is done after every prep. I was glad because it meant I had slept for a while past 7.00pm.

I really love my afternoon sleep. I seriously believe that as I sleep well, bather regularly I would be healthy and look good too. I practice this very religiously.

Another reason I love my naps is the fact that I can wake up around 12.00 am to 1.00 and  read scriptures, have quality prayer time, and read both academic material and otherwise with very little distraction.

At school yesterday, after the physics paper, Dumebi was quite unhappy. This had nothing to do with her physics exam because she said it was quite good for her. I was finally able to cheer her up but I know this was not by my effort alone, and I know the Holy spirit put the right words in my mouth because I was praying all the while.

We both agreed that she wouldn’t let situation/stuff around her get to her and when she starts having bad thoughts she should start remembering how lucky and blessed she is and be grateful. I hope we never loose contact. I want to help her fulfill her dreams and see her live a good life.

 

Kaydee seemed quite unhappy yesterday, I really wish I could cheer him up because he’s my close friend, brother and business partner. Besides what I feel the original problem was, I believe he also wants to go home. I’ve been feeling that way lately and I don’t blame him. Not like I hate the hostel, I don’t mind, it and I love my hostel brothers but the hostel is quite limiting. Anyways, since the house is far and the space between my papers is small, I’ll just manage like that and stay in school.

 

I’ll never again underestimate the power of contact making! There’s this guy from the FSD program. I remember his face but not his name. He runs a car tracking business and would be very helpful at the moment for the project Kolade and I are working on. I’ll  ask around sha. I pray God,helps me remember his name in a dream sha.

Countdown to graduation: 24 days. Megwa’s new passcode 1350.

THE LIFE AND TIMES OF A YOUNG MAN ON HIS PATH. Chapter 1.

Sunday, June 14, 2015. From the Dansol high school boys’ hostel.

Today while at church, the thought came to me that I could keep a journal that’d be published someday when I’ve made it and become famous.

The journal would serve as a guide and a means to encourage young people everywhere striving to achieve set goals, make a difference in their environment and stay on the right path.

Today I witnessed my first raid since I joined the hostel in April. I was tempted to participate in sharing the spoils but I thought of it as stealing you know, and decided it wasn’t something I wanted to be a part of.

Worthy of note, is that I’m also practicing being contented with what I have.
 
I’ve moved back to my original bed space under my friend and brother Kolade Adekunle Ajayi. I moved out of there initially because of the cold. We were directly under the air conditioner. Since then, I’ve been on top of Eddy Brown and then under Lanre Pedro. I moved away from above Eddy because the young chap was in constant fear of the bed falling down on top of him due to my weight and activity while asleep.

While under the Pedro, finding light to read was a challenge and that is why I am back under Kolade. Besides, under pedro, I was having trouble with my afternoon naps. My afternoon naps are legendary! I mean it keeps me going. On a good day after the stress of managing two ss3 classes, I’d come back shower, eat, pray and sleep till sometimes after prep.

By the way, yesterday I got the idea for a “bank of Nigeria” I want to be one of the major shareholders or owners of the bank in future. The name is just fresh please and anyone who’s anyone would bank with us.

A few facts!

I do miss my phone.

I Can’t wait for secondary school to be over so I can get the new phone *wink wink.

I pray Mr. Ajayi finds my flash I need to go back home with movies.

Video downloader app is a good idea for watching series and movies. 
 

Monday, June 15 2015. From the Dansol high school boys’ hostel.

Today is salami ayobami’s birthday.