Idk but I feel like it’s just a thin line, that separates mental stability from mental instability. On more than one occasion, the urge to act instinctively has been so strong, almost overpowering. Many times the results of these urges would have been mortifying, catastrophic and fatal.
I’m not sure if this is the same with others, or if I’m harboring over the brink of some disorder. But I do know, that the gift of willpower, the ability to say yes or no to some of these urges as they come is something I’ll be eternally grateful for.
Seeing this my condition, I think you’ll agree with me that it’s wise the decision I’ve made not to smoke or drink, or take any substances that might inhibit my ability to think clearly and make rational decisions. Anything that would take my willpower away from me is a no no, because really it is why I’m still alive.
Sometimes I think if these are the thoughts I can be having when I’m sober, what’ll happen if I were drunk. I shudder to think what.
And by the way, that thin line I mentioned earlier? It’s willpower. At least in my case.